KILLING IN THE NAME OF XENEPHOBIA

South Africa !!!

The late president Mandela must be turning in his grave by now...for wasting 27 years of his life fighting for the redemption of his people.

I am very disappointed by what is going on;
Killing innocent people for the sake of what ...Xenophobia. 
Is shedding blood freedom....
What happened to one people, different colors..

If you are killing your fellow Africans who are not citizens of your country, what do you expect other countries to do to south Africans living abroad or in other African continents?

Those Africans you are killing today,  stood by you through the struggles until you finally gained your freedom from the apartheid regime.

Don't think about yourselves alone for today, but think of the entire nation as a whole and let peace prevail else posterity will never forgive you.

We go to sleep at night praying for long life, and you take the lives of innocent people into your hands and decide their fate.....

If you want to live in your country alone, repatriate foreigners don't kill them..
I am very very sad...
SAD is under statement...

I HAVE A DREAM

I have a dream
A dream to pursue the future with ease
This dream is as simple as a smile on a little child's face
 This dream will linger in the history of your minds.

 I have a dream
This dream is like a trumpet that will set the youths on the street of freedom;
 Irrespective of your political, tribal and religious background,
 This dream will find you.
This dream will penetrate through the corridors of time.

 I have a dream This dream will unite the nation without blemish.
 This dream is for the rich,poor,young and old.
 This dream is for those who are prisoners of hope.
This dream is for those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

 I have a dream
This dream will spearhead the rectification of poverty;
 This dream is like a dead clock which reads twice a day.
This dream is dedicated to you and only you... Nelson Mandela..
 Sincerely; Joseph keteku

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A MAN

One of the most important things to learn as a young boy is how to become a man.
The first person from whom you learn to become a man is your father. You learn more from his examples than his words. Though you may still learn from his words, that puts a child whose father never grew up mentally and emotionally at a serious disadvantage. if the person from whom you are learning to be an adult still acts like a child, then that is what you will learn.
Below are the  core attributes of a man.

HONOR
This is the core or the all-encompassing attribute of what it means to be a man. It includes all the other attributes..
Honor means you  tell the truth, even if it hurts. it means you take care of your responsibilities.
Honor means, you live up to any commitment you make, even when it's hard. Honor means, taking care of those weaker than you.

INTEGRITY
Integrity is about truth. this means being truthful everywhere and to everyone, including you. It means don't pretend to be something or someone that you are not. It means accepting the truth of who you are, and if you don't like it accepting the responsibility of changing it, not just acting like it's not even there.
A man of integrity is true to himself, true to others and true to his word. He doesn't need to swear an oath or make a promise, because his yes means yes and no means no.

RESPONSIBILITY
A man must take responsibility of his own choices, both for himself and others who depend on him.
That means that you cannot blame others for things you do or the way you are because they can only influence you to allow them.
If you accept responsibility for something, it is up to you to make sure it is done and to accept the blame if it is not, regardless of why it is not. if you cannot be sure that you can do it, then do not say that you will.

RESPECT
A man gives respect to those around him until they show that they are not worthy of it.
And even then he gives them the opportunity to earn it back. All interactions with others should be done inside the framework of respect... even if someone has shown by their behavior that they are not worthy of respect, You can respect their knowledge and or expertise in whatever areas they have it.
Also keep in mind that regardless of whether someone is worthy of your respect or not, you should still treat them with respect... Just be aware of it in your expectations of them and their behavior.

FAITHFULNESS
Responsibility is about following through on what you say and do. Faithfulness is about following through on things that you should do whether or not you have said you will.
Faithfulness is  about going the extra mile to do the right thing in the right way, even if it means going beyond what you said you would do. Faithfulness is what comes after responsibility...when you don't just do things because you said you're stuck with it now, but instead you do them because they are right things to do.

COMPASSION
Compassion is one of primary things that differentiate men from animals and men from machines.
When you feel that other people are individuals and have their own value and are worthy of your help, your work, and your consideration on their own merit, then you have compassion.
Compassion isn't feeling sorry for people; it is feeling that they are worthy of your time and effort.


STRENGTH
Strength is another part of being a man that is commonly misunderstood. Strength isn't about not admitting your weakness (or mistakes). It's not about how much weight you can lift.
Strength is about following through on all of the things above. Strength is doing what you should be doing regardless of how hard it is or how you feel about it. It actually shows more strength to admit your weakness and mistakes. I cannot emphasize that enough... admitting weakness and mistakes may be hard but the reality is the strength to have and to fix it than try to hide them.
That's what it takes to be a man instead of an adult boy.
Go out there and be the man that you are...

PRINCIPLES (GUYS)

Principles are fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.


1. Thou shall watch whom you fall in love with.Falling in love with the wrong lady or woman will eventually have an impact on you tomorrow. For whoever you give your heart to has the key to your destiny. Don't forget that your future depends on the choices you make today.


2.Thou shall not work only for money.Money is not everything. You might not know when to find what.


3.Thou shall not compete or compare yourself with anyone. For you are unique in your own way. You were created with freedom and ability to make important decision of your life and how to relate to others.


4.Thou shall move from your parents home and learn to live on your own positively.With that, you will learn how to be responsible, and manage the little you get.


5.Thou shall know how to groom thyself.Learn to always use what I call the three essentials.-Confront it-Be truthful
-Let it go


6.Thou shall remain a student for life.We learn from the known to the unknown. Life is a teacher, the more we live, the more we know, the more we know, the more we do, the more we do, the perfect we become.


7.Thou shall master your sexual appetite.Remember 'Thou shall not chase everything in skirt, be wise.


8.Thou shall seek God.Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all other things shall be added unto you.

 9.Thou shall learn how to make good use of opportunities when they come your way.


10.Thou shall not forget the law of karma.

MISTAKES IN CONVERSATION



perfect couple

Can you improve your conversation skills? Certainly.

It might take a while to change the conversation habits that’s been ingrained throughout your life, but it is very possible.

let’s look at some common mistakes many of us make in conversations and a couple of solutions.

Not listening
Ernest Hemingway once said:

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

Don’t be like most people. Don’t just wait eagerly for your turn to talk. Put your own ego on hold. Learn to really listen to what people actually are saying.

When you start to really listen, you’ll pick up on loads of potential paths in the conversation. But avoid yes or no type of questions as they will not give you much information. If someone mentions that they went fishing with a couple of friends last weekend you can for instance ask:

• Where did you go fishing?
• What do you like most about fishing?
• What did you do there besides fishing?

The person will delve deeper into the subject giving you more information to work with and more paths for you choose from.

If they say something like: “Oh, I don’t know” at first, don’t give up. Prod a little further. Ask again. They do know, they just have to think about a bit more. And as they start to open up the conversation becomes more interesting because it’s not on auto-pilot anymore.

Asking too many questions
If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Continuing the conversation above you could skip the question and say:

• Yeah, it’s great to just get out with your friends and relax over the weekend. We like to take a six-pack out to the park and play some Frisbee golf.
• Nice. We went out in my friend’s boat last month and I tried these new lures from Sakamura. The blue ones were really great.

And then the conversation can flow on from there. And you can discuss Frisbee golf, the advantages/disadvantages of different lures or your favourite beer.

Tightening up
When in conversation with someone you just meet or when the usual few topics are exhausted an awkward silence or mood might appear. Or you might just become nervous not knowing exactly why.

• Leil Lowndes once said: “Never leave home without reading the newspaper.” If you’re running out of things to say, you can always start talking about the current news. It’s also good to stay updated on current water cooler-topics. Like what happened on the latest episode of Lost.
• Comment on the aquarium at the party, or that one girl’s cool Halloween-costume or the host’s mp3-playlist. You can always start new conversations about something in your surroundings.
• Assume rapport. If you feel nervous or weird when meeting someone for the first time assume rapport. What that means is that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends. Don’t overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away. But if you imagine this you’ll go into a positive emotional state. And you’ll greet and start talking to this new person with a smile and a friendly and relaxed attitude. Because that’s how you talk to your friends. It might sound a bit loopy or too simple. But it really works.

Poor delivery
One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say, but how you say it. A change in these habits can make a big difference since your voice and body language is a vital part of communication. Some things to think about:

• Slowing down. When you get excited about something it’s easy to start talking faster and faster. Try and slow down. It will make it much easier for people to listen and for you actually get what you are saying across to them.
• Speaking up. Don’t be afraid to talk as loud as you need to for people to hear you.
• Speaking clearly. Don’t mumble.
• Speak with emotion. No one listens for that long if you speak with a monotone voice. Let your feelings be reflected in your voice.
• Using pauses. Slowing down your talking plus adding a small pause between thoughts or sentences creates a bit of tension and anticipation. People will start to listen more attentively to what you’re saying.
• Learn a bit about improving your body language as it can make your delivery a lot more effective. Read about laughter, posture and how to hold your drink.

Hogging the spot-light

Everyone involved in a conversation should get their time in the spotlight. Don’t interrupt someone when they are telling some anecdote or their view on what you are discussing to divert the attention back to yourself. Don’t hijack their story about skiing before it’s finished to share your best skiing-anecdote. Find a balance between listening and talking.

Having to be right
Avoid arguing and having to being right about every topic. Often a conversation is not really a discussion. It’s a more of a way to keep a good mood going. No one will be that impressed if you “win” every conversation. Instead just sit back, relax and help keep the good feelings going.

Talking about a weird or negative topic
If you’re at a party or somewhere were you are just getting to know some people you might want to avoid some topics. Talking about your bad health or relationships, your crappy job or boss, serial killers, technical lingo that only you and some other guy understands or anything that sucks the positive energy out of the conversation are topics to steer clear from. You might also want to save religion and politics for conversations with your friends.

Being boring
Don’t prattle on about your new car for 10 minutes oblivious to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people. Or when everyone is getting bored and the topic is starting to run out of steam.

One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life. And to focus on the positive stuff. Don’t start to whine about your boss or your job, people don’t want to hear that. Instead, talk about your last trip somewhere, some funny anecdote that happened while you where buying clothes, your plans for New Years Eve or something funny or exciting.

Another way is just to be genuinely interested. 

As Dale Carnegie said:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”

Knowing a little about many things or at least being open to talk about them instead of trying to steer the conversation back to your favorite subject is a nice quality.

Meaning: talking for what seems like hours about one topic. Topics may include work, favorite rock-band, TV-show and more work.

Opening up a bit and not clinging desperately to one topic will make the conversation feel more relaxed and open. You will come across like a person who can talk about many things with ease. As you’ve probably experienced with other people; this quality is something you appreciate in a conversation and makes you feel like you can connect to that person easily. 

Not reciprocating
Open up and say what you think, share how you feel. If someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. 

If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.

Like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation. One way is by replacing some questions with statements. It makes you less passive and makes take a sort of stand.

Not contributing much
You might feel that you don’t have much to contribute to a conversation. But try anyway. Really listen and be interested in what the others are saying. Ask questions. Make relating statements.

Open your eyes too. Develop your observational skills to pick up interesting stuff in your surroundings to talk about. Develop your personal knowledge-bank by expanding your view of interesting things in the world. Read the newspapers and keep an eye on new water cooler-topics.

Work on your body language, how you talk and try assuming rapport to improve your communication skills.

But take it easy. Don’t do it all at once. You’ll just feel confused and overwhelmed. Instead, pick out the three most important things that you feel needs improving. Work on them every day for 3-4 weeks. Notice the difference and keep at it. Soon your new habits will start to pop up spontaneously when you are in a conversation.

NB: Seek to understand and then to be understood...

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

  
Are you having trouble understanding your girlfriend, or women in general? Well, we’re seriously not that hard to figure out.


 Make some plans

We do understand that men can be short sighted when it comes to thinking ahead, but at least try helping us while making plans. Don’t just blink while looking at us, and tell us to make all the plans. Even if you’re not the greatest maker of plans in the world, every effort from your end is something we’d love and appreciate. Don’t make us look like the social secretary of the relationship.

We definitely love some control in these areas, especially at times when you make plans to take your woman to the pool parlor nearby, but on the overall, we feel pampered and taken care of if the men make the plans, especially if it’s a surprise.

So the next time you sit down with your woman, don’t assume that saying, “Anywhere you want to go, darling” is going to flatter us and make us feel special. It could actually put us off. There’s no pressure on you to come up with an ingenious idea each time you go out, but a little effort to help out would be really nice.

Give us time to jump in

We women have never been able to understand this emotion about you guys. You propose to us, and expect us to jump right in and say a resounding yes! Or if you’ve just started seeing a woman, you want her to jump into the sheets after three dates, or you think something’s terribly wrong in your relationship.

Some women just want more time than others, so please try understanding that if things don’t work out just the way your female wooing mentor had predicted, there’s nothing wrong in that. We need space and time, and that extra bit of trust in you before we can open up to you, emotionally or otherwise. If we’re hanging back or holding on, that doesn’t mean we’re putting up our price or playing games with you, it just means we’re still figuring out how we feel about you. And that still doesn’t mean we don’t like you. We’re just biding time until we can understand how we feel about you. Or we may be too busy at work, just like you guys always are.

Don’t cuddle us when we’re angry

This is something that most guys have no idea about! When we’re mad at you, don’t try to molest us with hugs and cheeky grins. At that moment we actually want to kick and punch you. Probably even claw your face and hurt you! If we’re pissed off about something, don’t try to calm us and plaster our rage with smooches and “you look so cute when you’re angry” statements!

This will only piss us off a lot more. We’re angry with you for a reason, and when you try pretending like it’s all a big joke, it’s obviously going to make us all the more angry. This is probably why an experienced man wears a frying pan as a helmet while approaching an angry wife! But seriously, if you want to please us or help us overcome our anger, let us be mad. Even fighting back, as long as it’s verbal and on the calmer side, can help us fizz the anger out of our head, and calm us down. 


Don't take a woman's love for granted. Trust yourself to trust your partner.

THREE THINGS

EMPRESS

Three things in life that never comes back when gone:

Time

Words

Opportunity

Three things in life that should never be lost:

Peace

Hope

Honesty

Three things in life that is most valuable:

Prayer

Love

Faith

Three things in life that makes a person:

Hard work

Sincerity

Commitment

Three things that can destroy a person:

Lust 

Pride

Anger

Three things that is constant:

God

Change

Death

                        WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN SHALL BE TESTED

                                DON'T JUST READ, THINK ABOUT IT