WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A MAN

One of the most important things to learn as a young boy is how to become a man.
The first person from whom you learn to become a man is your father. You learn more from his examples than his words. Though you may still learn from his words, that puts a child whose father never grew up mentally and emotionally at a serious disadvantage. if the person from whom you are learning to be an adult still acts like a child, then that is what you will learn.
Below are the  core attributes of a man.

HONOR
This is the core or the all-encompassing attribute of what it means to be a man. It includes all the other attributes..
Honor means you  tell the truth, even if it hurts. it means you take care of your responsibilities.
Honor means, you live up to any commitment you make, even when it's hard. Honor means, taking care of those weaker than you.

INTEGRITY
Integrity is about truth. this means being truthful everywhere and to everyone, including you. It means don't pretend to be something or someone that you are not. It means accepting the truth of who you are, and if you don't like it accepting the responsibility of changing it, not just acting like it's not even there.
A man of integrity is true to himself, true to others and true to his word. He doesn't need to swear an oath or make a promise, because his yes means yes and no means no.

RESPONSIBILITY
A man must take responsibility of his own choices, both for himself and others who depend on him.
That means that you cannot blame others for things you do or the way you are because they can only influence you to allow them.
If you accept responsibility for something, it is up to you to make sure it is done and to accept the blame if it is not, regardless of why it is not. if you cannot be sure that you can do it, then do not say that you will.

RESPECT
A man gives respect to those around him until they show that they are not worthy of it.
And even then he gives them the opportunity to earn it back. All interactions with others should be done inside the framework of respect... even if someone has shown by their behavior that they are not worthy of respect, You can respect their knowledge and or expertise in whatever areas they have it.
Also keep in mind that regardless of whether someone is worthy of your respect or not, you should still treat them with respect... Just be aware of it in your expectations of them and their behavior.

FAITHFULNESS
Responsibility is about following through on what you say and do. Faithfulness is about following through on things that you should do whether or not you have said you will.
Faithfulness is  about going the extra mile to do the right thing in the right way, even if it means going beyond what you said you would do. Faithfulness is what comes after responsibility...when you don't just do things because you said you're stuck with it now, but instead you do them because they are right things to do.

COMPASSION
Compassion is one of primary things that differentiate men from animals and men from machines.
When you feel that other people are individuals and have their own value and are worthy of your help, your work, and your consideration on their own merit, then you have compassion.
Compassion isn't feeling sorry for people; it is feeling that they are worthy of your time and effort.


STRENGTH
Strength is another part of being a man that is commonly misunderstood. Strength isn't about not admitting your weakness (or mistakes). It's not about how much weight you can lift.
Strength is about following through on all of the things above. Strength is doing what you should be doing regardless of how hard it is or how you feel about it. It actually shows more strength to admit your weakness and mistakes. I cannot emphasize that enough... admitting weakness and mistakes may be hard but the reality is the strength to have and to fix it than try to hide them.
That's what it takes to be a man instead of an adult boy.
Go out there and be the man that you are...

PRINCIPLES (GUYS)

Principles are fundamental truth or proposition that serves as the foundation for a system of belief or behavior or for a chain of reasoning.


1. Thou shall watch whom you fall in love with.Falling in love with the wrong lady or woman will eventually have an impact on you tomorrow. For whoever you give your heart to has the key to your destiny. Don't forget that your future depends on the choices you make today.


2.Thou shall not work only for money.Money is not everything. You might not know when to find what.


3.Thou shall not compete or compare yourself with anyone. For you are unique in your own way. You were created with freedom and ability to make important decision of your life and how to relate to others.


4.Thou shall move from your parents home and learn to live on your own positively.With that, you will learn how to be responsible, and manage the little you get.


5.Thou shall know how to groom thyself.Learn to always use what I call the three essentials.-Confront it-Be truthful
-Let it go


6.Thou shall remain a student for life.We learn from the known to the unknown. Life is a teacher, the more we live, the more we know, the more we know, the more we do, the more we do, the perfect we become.


7.Thou shall master your sexual appetite.Remember 'Thou shall not chase everything in skirt, be wise.


8.Thou shall seek God.Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all other things shall be added unto you.

 9.Thou shall learn how to make good use of opportunities when they come your way.


10.Thou shall not forget the law of karma.

MISTAKES IN CONVERSATION



perfect couple

Can you improve your conversation skills? Certainly.

It might take a while to change the conversation habits that’s been ingrained throughout your life, but it is very possible.

let’s look at some common mistakes many of us make in conversations and a couple of solutions.

Not listening
Ernest Hemingway once said:

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

Don’t be like most people. Don’t just wait eagerly for your turn to talk. Put your own ego on hold. Learn to really listen to what people actually are saying.

When you start to really listen, you’ll pick up on loads of potential paths in the conversation. But avoid yes or no type of questions as they will not give you much information. If someone mentions that they went fishing with a couple of friends last weekend you can for instance ask:

• Where did you go fishing?
• What do you like most about fishing?
• What did you do there besides fishing?

The person will delve deeper into the subject giving you more information to work with and more paths for you choose from.

If they say something like: “Oh, I don’t know” at first, don’t give up. Prod a little further. Ask again. They do know, they just have to think about a bit more. And as they start to open up the conversation becomes more interesting because it’s not on auto-pilot anymore.

Asking too many questions
If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Continuing the conversation above you could skip the question and say:

• Yeah, it’s great to just get out with your friends and relax over the weekend. We like to take a six-pack out to the park and play some Frisbee golf.
• Nice. We went out in my friend’s boat last month and I tried these new lures from Sakamura. The blue ones were really great.

And then the conversation can flow on from there. And you can discuss Frisbee golf, the advantages/disadvantages of different lures or your favourite beer.

Tightening up
When in conversation with someone you just meet or when the usual few topics are exhausted an awkward silence or mood might appear. Or you might just become nervous not knowing exactly why.

• Leil Lowndes once said: “Never leave home without reading the newspaper.” If you’re running out of things to say, you can always start talking about the current news. It’s also good to stay updated on current water cooler-topics. Like what happened on the latest episode of Lost.
• Comment on the aquarium at the party, or that one girl’s cool Halloween-costume or the host’s mp3-playlist. You can always start new conversations about something in your surroundings.
• Assume rapport. If you feel nervous or weird when meeting someone for the first time assume rapport. What that means is that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends. Don’t overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away. But if you imagine this you’ll go into a positive emotional state. And you’ll greet and start talking to this new person with a smile and a friendly and relaxed attitude. Because that’s how you talk to your friends. It might sound a bit loopy or too simple. But it really works.

Poor delivery
One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say, but how you say it. A change in these habits can make a big difference since your voice and body language is a vital part of communication. Some things to think about:

• Slowing down. When you get excited about something it’s easy to start talking faster and faster. Try and slow down. It will make it much easier for people to listen and for you actually get what you are saying across to them.
• Speaking up. Don’t be afraid to talk as loud as you need to for people to hear you.
• Speaking clearly. Don’t mumble.
• Speak with emotion. No one listens for that long if you speak with a monotone voice. Let your feelings be reflected in your voice.
• Using pauses. Slowing down your talking plus adding a small pause between thoughts or sentences creates a bit of tension and anticipation. People will start to listen more attentively to what you’re saying.
• Learn a bit about improving your body language as it can make your delivery a lot more effective. Read about laughter, posture and how to hold your drink.

Hogging the spot-light

Everyone involved in a conversation should get their time in the spotlight. Don’t interrupt someone when they are telling some anecdote or their view on what you are discussing to divert the attention back to yourself. Don’t hijack their story about skiing before it’s finished to share your best skiing-anecdote. Find a balance between listening and talking.

Having to be right
Avoid arguing and having to being right about every topic. Often a conversation is not really a discussion. It’s a more of a way to keep a good mood going. No one will be that impressed if you “win” every conversation. Instead just sit back, relax and help keep the good feelings going.

Talking about a weird or negative topic
If you’re at a party or somewhere were you are just getting to know some people you might want to avoid some topics. Talking about your bad health or relationships, your crappy job or boss, serial killers, technical lingo that only you and some other guy understands or anything that sucks the positive energy out of the conversation are topics to steer clear from. You might also want to save religion and politics for conversations with your friends.

Being boring
Don’t prattle on about your new car for 10 minutes oblivious to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people. Or when everyone is getting bored and the topic is starting to run out of steam.

One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life. And to focus on the positive stuff. Don’t start to whine about your boss or your job, people don’t want to hear that. Instead, talk about your last trip somewhere, some funny anecdote that happened while you where buying clothes, your plans for New Years Eve or something funny or exciting.

Another way is just to be genuinely interested. 

As Dale Carnegie said:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”

Knowing a little about many things or at least being open to talk about them instead of trying to steer the conversation back to your favorite subject is a nice quality.

Meaning: talking for what seems like hours about one topic. Topics may include work, favorite rock-band, TV-show and more work.

Opening up a bit and not clinging desperately to one topic will make the conversation feel more relaxed and open. You will come across like a person who can talk about many things with ease. As you’ve probably experienced with other people; this quality is something you appreciate in a conversation and makes you feel like you can connect to that person easily. 

Not reciprocating
Open up and say what you think, share how you feel. If someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. 

If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.

Like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation. One way is by replacing some questions with statements. It makes you less passive and makes take a sort of stand.

Not contributing much
You might feel that you don’t have much to contribute to a conversation. But try anyway. Really listen and be interested in what the others are saying. Ask questions. Make relating statements.

Open your eyes too. Develop your observational skills to pick up interesting stuff in your surroundings to talk about. Develop your personal knowledge-bank by expanding your view of interesting things in the world. Read the newspapers and keep an eye on new water cooler-topics.

Work on your body language, how you talk and try assuming rapport to improve your communication skills.

But take it easy. Don’t do it all at once. You’ll just feel confused and overwhelmed. Instead, pick out the three most important things that you feel needs improving. Work on them every day for 3-4 weeks. Notice the difference and keep at it. Soon your new habits will start to pop up spontaneously when you are in a conversation.

NB: Seek to understand and then to be understood...

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

  
Are you having trouble understanding your girlfriend, or women in general? Well, we’re seriously not that hard to figure out.


 Make some plans

We do understand that men can be short sighted when it comes to thinking ahead, but at least try helping us while making plans. Don’t just blink while looking at us, and tell us to make all the plans. Even if you’re not the greatest maker of plans in the world, every effort from your end is something we’d love and appreciate. Don’t make us look like the social secretary of the relationship.

We definitely love some control in these areas, especially at times when you make plans to take your woman to the pool parlor nearby, but on the overall, we feel pampered and taken care of if the men make the plans, especially if it’s a surprise.

So the next time you sit down with your woman, don’t assume that saying, “Anywhere you want to go, darling” is going to flatter us and make us feel special. It could actually put us off. There’s no pressure on you to come up with an ingenious idea each time you go out, but a little effort to help out would be really nice.

Give us time to jump in

We women have never been able to understand this emotion about you guys. You propose to us, and expect us to jump right in and say a resounding yes! Or if you’ve just started seeing a woman, you want her to jump into the sheets after three dates, or you think something’s terribly wrong in your relationship.

Some women just want more time than others, so please try understanding that if things don’t work out just the way your female wooing mentor had predicted, there’s nothing wrong in that. We need space and time, and that extra bit of trust in you before we can open up to you, emotionally or otherwise. If we’re hanging back or holding on, that doesn’t mean we’re putting up our price or playing games with you, it just means we’re still figuring out how we feel about you. And that still doesn’t mean we don’t like you. We’re just biding time until we can understand how we feel about you. Or we may be too busy at work, just like you guys always are.

Don’t cuddle us when we’re angry

This is something that most guys have no idea about! When we’re mad at you, don’t try to molest us with hugs and cheeky grins. At that moment we actually want to kick and punch you. Probably even claw your face and hurt you! If we’re pissed off about something, don’t try to calm us and plaster our rage with smooches and “you look so cute when you’re angry” statements!

This will only piss us off a lot more. We’re angry with you for a reason, and when you try pretending like it’s all a big joke, it’s obviously going to make us all the more angry. This is probably why an experienced man wears a frying pan as a helmet while approaching an angry wife! But seriously, if you want to please us or help us overcome our anger, let us be mad. Even fighting back, as long as it’s verbal and on the calmer side, can help us fizz the anger out of our head, and calm us down. 


Don't take a woman's love for granted. Trust yourself to trust your partner.

THREE THINGS

EMPRESS

Three things in life that never comes back when gone:

Time

Words

Opportunity

Three things in life that should never be lost:

Peace

Hope

Honesty

Three things in life that is most valuable:

Prayer

Love

Faith

Three things in life that makes a person:

Hard work

Sincerity

Commitment

Three things that can destroy a person:

Lust 

Pride

Anger

Three things that is constant:

God

Change

Death

                        WHATEVER YOU BELIEVE IN SHALL BE TESTED

                                DON'T JUST READ, THINK ABOUT IT

LETTING GO

As silence fills my loneliness
Only for you my heart cries
The growing gnawing  pain within myself
That tears every senses of my life.
Tears flow endlessly
Even my eyes swells in deep agony
But nothing had been left
That I burned even more with desire
Just to feel the warmness of your embrace.
I still have the memories when we first met
Memories that I thought would just be the beginning
And would never end
But suddenly it was gone with  the wind.
I always say I LOVE YOU
Deep inside my heart I do
Thinking that you feel the same way too
That even we’re miles away we can make it through
I felt my world shattered like a glass
One day when you told me that I was just a back up
And that you are still in search of your perfect match
For someone you can marry even when there’s no real LOVE.
I have been waiting for a chance
Hoping that one day you would realize and understand
I gave you everything that I have
Just to let you know that I love you so much
You have closed your door to me indeed
Even if I was just trying to talk , just being a FRIEND
Then I realized,Perhaps I was  obsessed and was pushing myself  to you…
And now, I need to say goodbye and Let go.

SUCCESSFUL SPEAKER

1. Be Yourself

It's great to watch other successful speakers, to see what they do and how they do it. To be a great speaker in your own right requires you to develop your own style, to speak using your own voice. Be yourself when you speak and you can't help but be successful.

2. Be Bold

You might think that it takes boldness just to stand up and start talking, and it does, but there are plenty of speakers out there who come across like timid mice. Be bold as a speaker, confident in your abilities. Practice every day, give speeches whenever you can. The more you practice, the perfect you become.

3. Be different

Successful speakers aren't like everybody else. There's something that sets them apart. Makes them stand out. They're the speakers who do more than just stand in the front of the room and talk at you.

4. Be funny

Successful speakers know how to be funny, that is: they know when and where to use humor in their presentations... and they aren't afraid to do so. 

5. Be engaging

Listening to a speech is, for most people, a passive activity. Successful speakers involve their audiences and converse with them so that it's a conversation, not a talking-to.

6. Be positive

No matter what the subject, successful speakers are always positive with their audiences. They help their audiences learn what to do as opposed to what NOT to do. They focus on the upside, not the downside.

7. Be challenging.

Lastly, great speakers always challenge their audiences to do great things. And again, it doesn't matter what the subject. A successful speaker gives you the know-how and the challenge to make your life more enjoyable and more rewarding everyday.

Remember, if you don't appreciate what you have, it will depreciate.
Life is all about realizing what you want to be and how to implement it. and you have to start from somewhere. Again, we learn from what we know to the unknown..

WHAT EVERY GUY SHOULD KNOW

Smile for a good first impression
 
First impressions occur within the first three seconds of meeting someone. To feel your best when making your own first impressions, be sure to smile, whether you feel happy or not.

It's free and it's fast. And research suggests that smiling may improve your mood, slash stress, boost your immune system, and lower blood pressure.

Pursue goals with passion
Passion can be a vital key to success. Research shows that high achievers have a strong interest in their work and passion for their goals.

To find where your passions lie, "Think about what you loved as a child," suggests Oregon life coach Joy Hatch. "What excites you? Makes time stand still? Discover what feels like play and you've found your passion."

Accentuate the positive
Staying positive can keep your body humming. It can slow signs of aging and even help you bounce back after a bout of sickness.

Tips for staying positive: Remember what's working in your life, evaluate what isn't, and keep moving forward.

Get a move on
Want to stay mentally sharp, sleep great, and reduce your risk of depression? Get moving.

Research shows that about 120 to 150 minutes of aerobic and muscle-strengthening activity a week can help you control your weight, strengthen your muscles -- even live longer.

Mind your (Table) manners
Put your best fork forward at meal time. Good table manners show that you're a class act and you think your friends are, too.

Top table manners to cultivate include maintaining good posture, chewing with your mouth closed, using your napkin, and excusing yourself from the table when you get up.

Keep it clean
Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Scrub up! Wash your hands for 20 seconds before you cook or eat, and after you use the restroom.

It's one of the most important ways to avoid colds and flu all year long. If you don't have soap and water handy, use an alcohol-based sanitizer.

Smell good
Give your confidence a boost by smelling your best. Smelling good can make you feel even better, which makes you more attractive to others.

Wear clean clothing and shower regularly -- especially after a strenuous workout. Find a great cologne, shampoo, and deodorant whose scents don't clash.

Keep your breath minty fresh by caring for your teeth and gums as your dentist recommends.

Dress the part
Looking sharp shows that you're prepared. To dress for success, start with a black, grey, or navy suit.

Add coordinated socks, a matching tie, and dark, polished shoes. Go easy on the cologne. Your hair and nails should be neat and clean. Keep jewelry and other accents low-key.

Be kind and polite

We all need good relationships to be happy. Being kind to those around you shows you value them as people.

It makes you feel better about yourself, too. Practice being polite. Develop compassion. You'll impress others and boost your own well-being.

Take time to be timely
Punctuality shows people you're in control and that you respect them -- all before you ever say a word.

Set yourself up for timely success. Use calendars and schedule reminders. Prepare for important events and meetings the night before.

Estimate how much time a task will take and plan for bumps in the road, like rush-hour traffic.

Gain from giving
Carving out time to volunteer can benefit you, both mentally and physically. People who regularly volunteer report higher levels of happiness, self-esteem, and purpose -- and lower levels of depression.

Studies also show that people who give of themselves tend to live longer and enjoy stronger relationships.

Take time off
Want to succeed and actually enjoy your success? Take a break from time to time. If you think vacation time means wasted time, think again.

Taking time to recharge not only renews your energy for work, but it can also help you avoid health problems related to stress and anxiety.

LOL: Laugh out loud

A loud, hard laugh actually is good medicine, for your heart especially. Research shows that laughter helps keep your arteries fine tuned, which keeps heart attacks and heart disease at bay.

Enjoy a funny film or see a comedy show with friends. Add laughter to your daily health routine.

Practice manly moderation
Doing things in moderation shows you're in control. Overdo it and you suffer the consequences.

Eat right (more fruits and vegetables), drink responsibly (no more than two alcoholic drinks a day), and get at least 30 minutes of exercise on most days of the week.

Learn to love the long run
Maybe your perfectly balanced, successful life didn't happen today. It might not happen tomorrow, either.

That's fine. Success comes when you keep striving for what you want while appreciating the success you already have. Love the long run. 
Remember, first impressions are not always correct. but you will never get the second chance to make the first impressions right...